JLS (jlsjlsjls) wrote,

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I think Evil Rick will forgive me ...

... for sharing this, one of his most famous "Streeters"; I think it's relevant to the topics being raised in my friends' LJs (and it can be adapted to fit any annoying person ... just pick a trait or feature that they can't help and let fly ***grin***). Because this is copyrighted material, I'm keeping it for the eyes of friends only, knowing that they won't let it be copied all over the Internet (people should buy Rick's book, dammit!!!!!). If you want the right tone of voice to play in your head while reading, click on the video link in my previous LJ entry ... the tone and delivery haven't changed over the years.

Queen of the Little People (first broadcast October 17, 1994)

Roseanne Skoke, Liberal MP for Central Nova, hates homosexuals. She says she's normal, but they're statistically abnormal.

Well, you know, it depends on how you look at these things, doesn't it? I mean, speaking of statistical abnormalities, how many four-foot-five female members of Parliament are there in Canada? Not many. I'd guess ... one.

I hope all the tall non-members of Parliament don't get together and have a vote about short people in Parliament, or short people in general, for that matter.

I mean, if they want to be short, fine, but give 'em an inch and they'll take a mile. Next thing, they'll be saying they can't be fired for being short, and they'll want to get married to other short people, have short children, the whole shebang. It's just not fair to tall people.

And you know, Roseanne, it's not like I don't know what I'm talking about. I've never admitted this before, but I once experimented ... with being ... short, but then I realized that being a short grown man was unnatural, immoral, and perhaps a threat to Canadian families.

So Roseanne, I think you should just do what I did. Do what Svend Robinson did. When we were four feet tall we made a conscious lifestyle decision to keep growing. And if you're not up to the challenge physically, Roseanne, you should really consider it mentally.

By Rick Mercer, Canadian King of Evil and Good Sense

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