May 12th, 2006

The Librarian


Dear Good Samaritan With A Driver's License

I know you want to be a "nice" person. I understand that. And I'm sure that it made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside to stop and let a half dozen or so Wal-Mart shoppers out of the parking lot and into traffic.

During rush hour.

Friday rush hour.

On a green light.

Let me explain something to you. There is a department down at city hall whose purpose is to monitor traffic flows and calculate traffic light times and synchronization to keep things moving. It's not a perfect system, far from it, but they do their best. And then you performed your little act of kindness, not looking in your rearview mirror (you do know what it's for, don't you sweetie?) and seeing that you had SINGLE-HANDEDLY BACKED UP TRAFFIC FOR AT LEAST THREE BLOCKS!!! Hell, I'm just glad I'd opted to walk instead of drive and was safely on the sidewalk, out of the direct path of all the driver mental hate rays that were directed at you. Because the cars in YOUR block couldn't move through their green light because your stopped car was in the way, the cars in the next block behind couldn't move through THEIR green light, thus preventing the next block from moving ... y'see how it works? Chain reaction. And that was just how far I could see ... you probably screwed things up for the whole eighty blocks between you and downtown.

The thing is, the Wal-Mart parking lot exit is NOT an exit ramp or merge lane ... there is no requirement to take turns. Cars exiting the private property of a parking lot have no legal right of way. Really. Read the traffic act and you'll see I'm right. And, y'know, maybe it's better to that anybody stupid enough to try to use the exit that's only 1.5 car lengths from the intersection (instead of one of the two other exits on that side of the lot that would let them easily get into traffic without disruption) during rush hour NOT be allowed out. After all, time spent in their car in a parking lot exit is time that they aren't home, potentially breeding.

Think about it.
  • Current Mood
    a tad snarky
The Librarian

Recent additions ...

... to the JLS collection:

Oaxaca journal, by Oliver Sacks. Sacks is just plain fun (as well as informative) ... I highly recommend his Island of the colorblind as well.

Poisons : from hemlock to botox and the killer bean of Calabar, by Peter Macinnis. I don't know HOW I've survived this long without a good poisons book ...

Bodies and souls : the tragic plight of three Jewish women forced into prostitution in the Americas, by Isabel Vincent. Prostitution has a long history, but this is a piece of it which hasn't been studied until now ...

The green-eyed monster and Bad Suki, both by Peter O'Donnell ... two more wonderful Modesty Blaise graphic collections! :-)

The first volume of Bill Willingham's wonder Fables series: Legends in exile. Classic moment: Pinocchio, on being asked why he attends the annual Fabletown party if he never has a good time, replies, "Because, sooner or later, that Blue Fairy, who turned me into a REAL boy, is going to show her face at one of these things, and I'm going to kick her pretty azure ass. ... who knew I'd have to stay a boy FOREVER? The ditzy bitch interpreted my wish too literally. I'm over three centuries old and I still haven't gone through puberty. I want to grow up, I want my balls to drop, and I want to get LAID."

Oh, and of course, issue #4 of Jim Turner's wickedly funny Rex Libris Am also happy dancing 'cause I JUST discovered that a Rex Libris statue is in the works! (description from a site that had no images: "6.5" tall Rex Libris Statue featuring the librarian stomping on the severed hand of a demon who had one too many overdue books!")